I'll do me. You do you.

Okay so this is a topic I've been dying to write about. The thoughts about it have been in my mind for a while, but I've really been wanting to put it down on paper (using that word loosely - lol)

Swagger. Such a complicated word.

But let me tell you where it all began.........


As you guys know, a couple months ago I was in a dance for my church. We danced to the song Victory by Ty Tribbett. However - prior to the dance (kind of a segway so that the audience could grasp the full concept of what we were doing) we did a skit. Now - oddly enough the character that I was asked to portray I actually had difficulty with. I was supposed to be a hood rat. A gangster. Gangsters don't really smile. So - of course that was my constant inclination. I had to put myself in a mindstate of anger to get by and do it properly...... Anyway - my name was Traffik. My bro was Ego (which got changed to Hollywood when we did it a second time). The other guy was Baby-T. And the two girls where Erin and Holly (from the movie ATL). I didn't know where they had gotten the name Traffik from. All the others make sense if you know us. My bro is definitely Hollywood. The girls fit the Erin/Holly profile. And Baby-T is a derivative of Traffik. I just didn't understand the name. They said "Cuz when you walk in, traffic stops." I had the concept after that. I reworded it to "Traffic stops (conversations slow, heads turn, people's focus is shifted) when I walk in the room."

Okay so I had a workable name. But a name is only half the battle. I still had to BE Traffik. He's a state of mind, and somewhat a lifestyle. I didn't know it then, but I was looking for swag. That natural cockiness that some people have, and others emulate. I could talk it, but I always burst out laughing or smiling, or otherwise betraying the nature of the character. So it was about this time that T.I. came into my life. I'm sure EVERYBODY knows that T.I. is the King (get it? :p) of swag. And it's very real. He's not faking. I had the good fortune to come in at the most recent stage of his life. Where he's really trying to get it together (somewhat). I'm prayin the jail time drives him all the way to God........ :-) Anyway, the first song I heard was "No Matter What." The first verse goes:

"Hey never have you seen your lifetime/ A more divine southern rapper with a swagger like mine/ Facin all kinda time, but smile like I'm fine/ Brag with such passion, and shine without tryin/ Believe me, pain's a small thang to a giant/ I was born without a dime/ Out the gutter I climbed/ Spoke my mind and didn't stutter one time/ Ali say even the greatest gotta suffer sometimes/"

I loved that song. I still do. But that was my initiation to authentic swagger. I didn't know what to do with it at first. It was bold. It was kinda cocky. It's very - out there with who you are. I wasn't ready for all that, yet that's what I was looking for (still hadn't recognized it yet). So that was about three-four months before we danced. About a month to a month and a half before we did the dance, the idea of swag began to haunt me. What is it? How do I quantify it? How do I find my OWN? Is anybody's swag greater than anybody else's? I listened to a little more T.I. "Whatever You Like" was his next big one. Very good example of outstanding confidence in oneself. I then looked into a few of his other songs.... My picture was forming. I listened to songs on his new album... My picture began to clarify.

True swag is not completely able to be defined - but you can recognize it when you see it. It leaves it's own trail.

It's being you - well. Taking your strengths and bench pressing the world with them. Taking your weaknessess, and attempting bench press the world with them. Treating your weakness like a strength in order to strengthen it. And yes, I admit it involves some cockiness. Like "Yeah this is me - and it's pretty darn good!" Being real about yourself. No fakeness. No billyappleness (inside joke - lol). Imitating swag can help you find your own swag - but only if you're looking for it. Imitated swag for it's own sake results in complications with your already active insecurities. Then you'll end up worse off than before. Because you are not being YOU. You are attempting to be somebody else. But they are already themselves, and nobody does themself like themself. Which means you're out of a job. I also learned this, when I realized that as much as I like T.I. - I wasn't and could never be, him. That was a tough nut to swallow, because being me wasn't going to allow me to do the skit properly. So - what then? I couldn't be fake. It needed to be authentic. And maybe it wouldn't have mattered so much had I not felt the need to truly get this swag thing down. I was still insecure about me (and still have residue of that left over) and so as a result I wanted to find my swag and let that come through the skit. I had to - evolve. I was still me, but it was time to elevate above that plateau of existence I'd been resting on. The old me wouldn't cut it. That was fine because I had an identity to embody. Traffik. I was he. He was I. Traffik has no meaning without me. So I began to work on that.

I'm proud to say I discovered some measure of my own swag in time for the dance and Traffik lived and breathed beautifully. ;-)

But after the dance...... Did Traffik die? Did I go back to the old me? I don't think so. Traffik is who I need to be at this point in my life - and I only kept the name so I could differentiate behaviors in my mind. What would I do/say/think? And what would Traffik (the me I needed to grow into) do/say/think? More T.I. To get the feel of swag. This led into Ludicrous (who's got a peculiar swag, but swag nonetheless). And then me observing artists (not necessarily listening to all their music) and people and seeing to had their own swag. Who was comfortable, confident, and bold with themselves, and could be somewhat cocky about it. Traffik's persona developed even more. And now - present day. Through being Traffik, I'm probably more in tune with who I am than I have been in a while. I admit it was somewhat of a relief. Nobody knew Traffik, and thus no real expectations. I was able to develop him and flesh out his lifestyle in relative peace. The hard part was being both people. Similar to T.I.'s album "T.I. vs T.I.P." There was Me. And there was Traffik. Traffik is who I needed to fully be. Me needed to get with the program. Both of 'em are stubborn. However - I crossed that bridge and now I am Traffik. I've found my own style of swag. Now I'm developing and fine tuning it.

This leads me to James Bond. I saw Casino Royale, and Quantum of Solace in the same night. That 007 swag is on a whole 'nother level!! Which is what he's known for (I realized in retrospect). He's bold. Confident. Cocky. But - we didn't really know him, cuz he was so cold. In these last to installments of the 007 franchise, they gave us a window into his character. His swagger is so heavy it's not even funny. He really tried to bench press the world with his weaknesses. And he was real about it.

The quote I heard on Fresh Prince (which turns out to be a quote from Ali, and who knows where he got it from - lol) is this:

"I'm the greatest!!! I'm the king!! And I'm pretty!"

Every person I've observed (and some that I've researched) who I identified as having legitimate swagger pretty much lived by this saying. Even in a short interview with Will Smith, he said that his character Ali kept saying that to himself - even though he didn't believe it. He kept saying it UNTIL he believed it.


"Never mind what haters say/ Ignore 'em 'til they fade away...../"

"You're gonna be/ A shining star. Fancy clothes. Fancy ca-ar/ Then you'll see/ You're gonna go far/ Cuz everyone knows/ Just who you a-are/ So live your life/"

~ T.I. & Rihanna "Live Your Life"